Sunday, April 8, 2012

I'm gonna tell you a little about how we do things around here

When someone asks you how you are, feign exhaustion
Otherwise, the boss will demand everyone else works harder
Because some dipshit brought his straw to work

Nothing is full size
Not even the Ironing Boards

Its all business
You are the golden goose
And they'll pay to keep you
So long as its worth it

When boiling water from the tap
Don't be stingy or impatient
Another minute on the stove saves you five in the can

In the beginning, say yes to everything

Stay away from all beef patties
If the shite beef they use doesn't give you a heart attack
The sticker shock will

Learn Korean
Its a great way to meet foreigners

On your days off, walk everywhere

If you come here with no other language skills
Learn the alphabet
otherwise ordering food is impossible

Make Korean friends ASAP
So you have someone to call when Google Translate fails

Streets don't have names here

BYOTP. Free toilet paper is a luxury, not a right.

Ground Coffee, Wine, Cheese, Western Liquor
And basically anything else imported
Goes on your care package list, not your shopping list

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