Okay, so, I FINALLY received my EPIK interview (to teach English in Korean public school). I've been working and slaving just to get to this step. It was a little nerve racking completing the application, with its lesson plan and personal statement, which seemed to consume entire weeks of my life. I was constantly revising and second guessing myself. I'd like to thank Alexander and Ashley Guererro for tearing it apart and torching the shreds over and over again. My final submission wasn't perfect, but it was definitely much improved.
Then came the waiting. That part was worse. It's like writing a girl a letter, asking her flat out if she wants to go to the prom with you, and having to wait for a letter back. After about a week, you start buggin out. I emailed my recruiter to see how many days it takes for the average response. She said 7-10 days later. Eleven (may have been more like nine) days later, I email her again asking if I might have been rejected. She quite tactfully tells me to sit the fuck down, shut the fuck up, and be fucking patient. I email her a week later to check in, she tells me the same thing again.
Yesterday, I got her email. It said that I have an interview Monday, 1140. At first I was ecstatic. Then my day happened. Then I read the sample questions for the interview. Then my heart sank into my shoes.
I'd been having a normal day at work. That is to say, nothing special or different had happened that day. I'd walked in, taken between 15 and 40 minutes to prepare for my whole day, remembering to put my torn, dog eared, tattered half of a fuck in my back pocket, so it'd be there for me to give it in case of emergency. ('Emergency' is a technical term defined the way an insurance company defines a 'valid claim.' For something to be deemed a 'emergency' it must first be run through a flowchart involving the amount of urgency or importance my director places on the even, the actual objective absolute value of urgency or importance the event has [usually there's a great discrepancy there], the amount of inconvenience the suggested remedies place on me, the amount of blatantly tactless or disrespectful conduct that occurred when informing me there was an emergency, and finally, how feasible/effective the proposed solutions are). I rolled through my classes like a gunslinger, living recklessly and shooting from the hip. It seems that every day my objective is to try and plough through the seemingly pointless and ineffective material in the book so that we can play a game, which is fine by the students. It gets them rehearsing the same English small talk over and over again, and in a way works, considering they never would use this much English if it were left up to the design of the books. It all was capped off by a resentment for having to do anything more at all other than sit there and stare at my newest desktop: a wide angle shot of Ha Long Bay with a beautiful cherry red stained wooden 'junk' (I'm guessing its the name for such a design of boat) floating across it.
The funny thing is I had read the questions, which included ones like 'Tell me about your passion for teaching,' and 'why do you want to teach public school in Korea' juxtaposed against dire fire-and-brimstone sounding warnings that surmounted to 'don't go looking like a shitbag' and 'EPIK wants teachers, not some foreigner looking for a working holiday!!!' After my day at work (which, if you recall, was nothing special or different) I was feeling lackluster, ineffective, useless, void of any passion, resenting my job, and wishing I was on a beach anywhere else in the world. I think I'm officially burned out at my current job.
The rest of my night was spent pulling myself out of this tailspin. In fact, it was quite effortless. A good friend offered me some good advice, "Don't let short term burnout get in the way of long term goals." Well said. It also helped that I practiced a bit, and when I practiced I found myself diving into the few wellsprings of passion I do have. My answers to some of the questions were genuine, and I found that bit of myself that really loves doing what I do. Because I do. I love teaching. I love helping little kids learn. I love getting them to get it. Once I started talking out my responses, I found I had a lot more to offer than my current job inspired me to do. I am still a little concerned about the amount of prep I have to do, but for now I know I'm better than I thought I was when I started the whole interview review process.
So, Monday's the big day. This will pave my way into the second year of my Korean life. Really, I'm more here to travel than anything. Screw saving money long term. Now is the time to see everything. In fact, I've been wondering why I'd want to come back to Korea at all. Maybe I don't.Its not that I dislike it, but there are other things out there. There's always Vietnam, with its dirty dirt cheap cost of living, kingly salary, lax laws, and...who knows what else? The only real thing I have keeping me here is a barely ridden motorcycle. Seriously. I mean, I love all my friends and such, but I'm effectively leaving them all in 36 days (shudder!). Even if I end up in Daegu, only 30 min by train, this is it. It's spaghetti against the wall time. Whoever sticks, sticks, and the rest of them all will just slide off into the depths of my facebook friends as memories and former good times. Its reality. It's the way it happens. Why stay? I guess because what's comfortable is comfortable. I guess, unless Vietnam steals my heart in the meantime, I'll be back.
Speaking of Vietnam, I only have THIRTY SIX DAYS UNTIL MY UUUBER EPIC TRIP AROUND SE ASIA!!! AASSSSAAAAAA!!!! So excited. In fact, I think its part of the reason for my burnout. I mean, you have a month left at some mickey mouse operation school, and you're staring at over seven weeks of history and big cities and jungles and white sandy beaches and...well...paradise! Two dollars will get you a beer, a sandwich, another beer and another sandwich!! I MISS SANDWICHES!! Ohhhhh man! It's gonna be INSANE!! I already have my gopro and my kindle (memory maker and time passer), plus my backpack and such, now all I need to do is get myself a snorkel and some fins and I'm set!! I'm so excited it keeps me up at night!
